Bruce E. Levine: Why I Don't "Disease" Depression - Living on The Huffington Post

Bruce E. Levine: Why I Don't "Disease" Depression - Living on The Huffington Post: "Instead of labeling depression as weakness or illness, we might better decrease depression by understanding it as a normal, albeit painful, human reaction."

I think I'll just present this as is. The article contains stuff worth pondering and can lead to some healthy feistiness, but the disease model for depression still make sense to me.

Continuation of the med adventure

When I presented the prescription slip to the pharmacy technician, she studied it for a few minutes and then handed me a pad of paper. "Could you," she asked discretely, "write down what you think the prescription is?"

A traveler around the world of work: What does a change change?

A traveler around the world of work: What does a change change?

How to be depressed

How to be depressed

How do you spend your days?

Yesterday, a friend asked me how I spent my days. I did have a good answer because a) I couldn't remember some of the things that I've been doing and b) my days and weeks don't have a lot of consistency.

For example, I have attended an outpatient support group on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I couldn't, however, remember why I hadn't attended this past Monday's session. (Sandra reminded me that I met my psychiatrist at the hospital to pick up samples of my new medication.) I didn't attend today because I went back to bed after breakfast and didn't get up until nearly 10.

Some days, such as today, have appointments and errands. I'm writing this from a cube at the car dealer's where my car is having its 15,000-mile service. (I've had this car for less than a year and it's already at 15K miles, even though I no longer have a job.) I've done some grocery shopping, skimmed a lot of junk on the web, and brought in a load of firewood. Later this afternoon, Sandra and I will go for walk along the rail trail. I get some form of exercise almost every day.

I watch TV, although not much, and listen to news shows on the radio. I read some - newspapers and magazines, mostly; I have had a library book for a couple of weeks and just renewed it for a couple weeks more.

There are a lot of computer-related tasks that I attempt, but just a few that I can complete. For example, yesterday, I wanted to set up a backup scheme for our laptop so that we could mirror the system disk on one of our USB drives. In order to do so, I needed to create a new partition on one of the large drives. I stared at the problem for about 20 minutes before realizing that I didn't know how to begin. Our important stuff is backed up safely, but not in the way that I would like to have it.

For most folks, I'm sure that my days seem to be crushingly dull. Getting through a day may not seem like fun or much of an accomplishment, but, for many days, it's all I've got. What do I do for fun? What are my hobbies? Would I like to have sweet potato salad at the Thanksgiving dinner? I can't believe that a simple answer is so much work.

New life inside the depressed brain - The Boston Globe

New life inside the depressed brain - The Boston Globe

These tiny halls

It was, by any measure, a rough stretch. After Wednesday's ECT treatment, my body was very sore, particular around my neck and shoulders. This is typically occurs when either I don't receive enough muscle relaxant or when my body, for reasons uncertain, metabolizes the muscle relaxant differently.

In addition, my.mood sank. I had a pair of 6s. We reached my psychiatrist on Friday evening and settled on a plan (increasing my Seroquel) that we hoped would keep me stable until I could see him on Monday (today).

It worked. Sandra and I went to a Thanksgiving farm fest on Saturday. Yesterday, we went to a famer's market, out for brunch, and for a hike in one of our favorite nature preserves.

So, now I'm waiting to see the doctor at his other office in the psych ward of an old hospital. I'm starting the MAO inhibitors. More on this as it goes along.
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Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Post-zap

It was good to be in a familiar hospital with people I know and who were kind. I was also somewhat scary, based on my experience with my last ECT. (The last one took place at another hospital with another set of doctors and other staff.)

I arrived at 7:30, was wheeled into the surgery suite shortly after nine, and went into the ECT room about 9:30. I think it was a bit after 10 when I awakened, although it's tough to tell when I don't have my glasses. Today, it was more difficult that usual to remember the day or time of year (spring vs. summer). I don't think that I really got it until Sandra brought me home.

For the rest of the day, I've had a few sore muscles and an ache on the right side of my head (where the doctor placed one of the electrodes). Before the procedure, I asked about unipolar (electrode on just one temple, with other other on top of the head) vs. bipolor (electrodes on both sides). Doctors prefer unipolar because the risk for memory loss is lower. I'm ready to try the other in the hope of finding more relief.

Sandra and I talked about an upcoming vacation, but I was able to provide much enthusiasm or input. We did enjoy a walk on a nice mid-autumn day.

They're giving out awards for depression

To dream, perchance to sleep

Since making the change to my meds (discontinuing Imipramine and starting Lamictal), I've had nights of odd dreams and little, deep sleep. The first night, I dreamed about not sleeping. Since then I've had lengthy dreams about work, business travel, and, then, last night, working in California. In a previous job, I was in California a lot and this dream set, even though located in a warehouse-type office building, reminded me a lot of that job. The dreams stretched out for what seemed like hours, but I'd also awaken often between segments.

This sleep pattern, I think, had made my mornings difficult. Today, however, has been difficult all the way through. Marley and I went for a walk this morning and I've done a bit of laundry, but, otherwise, I've not been able to do much today.

Shaking the medicine bottle

Sandra and I met with my psychiatrist yesterday afternoon and reviewed the effect of the increased Imipramine for the last 30 days. The results weren't impressive. I've been drifting along between kinda-ok and not-so-good, which is disappointing, given the clear progress that I was making after my hospitalization.

So, we decided to take some new steps:

• I will start Lamictal today. Lamictal is a mood stabilizer that, the doctor believes, works well on the depressive cycles.
• I will also stop taking Imipramine to clear my system in preparation for starting Monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOIs). In a couple of weeks, we'll try Emsam, an MAOI that's delivered via a transdermal patch and so doesn't have the same stringent dietary restrictions as the meds that are taken orally.

Because of the slow increases of both Lamictal and Emsam, it may be a couple of months before I can feel the full benefit, if any, from these meds.

In the meantime, I will also resume ECT. I'll have a treatment next Wednesday.

Kitty Dukakis at UMass Medical School

This morning, I attended a lecture by Kitty Dukakis on the topic of ECT, covering both her personal experience as a patient and her observations as a writer and lecturer.

Her talk reinforced what she'd written in her latest book, Shock: ECT is effective and safe as treatment for depression and other mental illnesses.

What I found most compelling and admirable is that she gave this lecture during a time when she is receiving ECT treatments. As she noted several times, her depressive periods run on a nine to 10-month cycle. When she notices (or those around her notice) that the symptoms of depression are returning, she arranges for a series of six ECT treatments. She'd scheduled this lecture earlier in the year, not knowing that it would be time for ECT. She has chosen to receive her treatments as the need arises, rather than having a monthly maintenance treatment.

She spoke from notes and often read whole paragraphs. She paused for an extra few seconds as she tried to remember a name. Her good humor was clear, even if the pace of her speaking was measured. She talked candidly about the memory loss associated with ECT. Some of the loss is temporary, some not. She regarded the loss as a trade-off that she was more than willing to accept.

It was good to hear her in the context of a medical school. Several of the questions from the faculty and students sought to know how they could do better: what kinds of service delivery, research, and legislation could help? Ms. Dukakis highlighted the Avera Behavioral Health Center in Souix Falls SD as an example of a comprehensive treatment facility.

So, lest we forget, ECT is not a cure, but it is an effective and safe treatment.

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This lecture was part of the Grand Rounds series sponsored by the medical school. I learned about it yesterday in our support group. I saw no signs in the building regarding the lecture nor have I been able to find any mention on the school's web site. I wonder how many people who wanted to attend the lecture who are still wandering those corridors.

Depression: Recognizing the Physical Symptoms

The Internet can be a great source of helpful information about depression and other topics. Let's not forget, however, that even web servers can have bad days.






From Depression News.